• Katie Heyes

Getting Out of a Rut – A Little Catch-Up and New Direction for Blogging.

Yeah that didn’t last long did it? At this rate I may as well set a jar aside and for every challenge I set out to do and fail, stick to put a pound in… actually that’ll be my whole student loan down the drain, scrap that!

But to be fair, the fact that I managed to stick to a daily blogging schedule for over half a month now is at least worth a small pat on the back. And looking back now, I’m honestly really proud of myself for sticking to it for that long. Yeah I didn’t make the whole month, but for a time I was really enjoying it and found it so helpful for my own mental wellbeing. There was something therapeutic about getting up in the morning, grabbing that cappuccino and instead of lazing around not really being productive, actually sitting down and writing a bit about my life – as boring and odd as it may be sometimes.

Yet it still ended up coming to an abrupt end. Why was that? Well, sadly, unforeseen circumstances led to me needing a little bit more time off from blogging regularly.

My last post was published on the 17th of July. And that was around the time I started to realise that blogging daily wasn’t that fulfilling anymore. A lot of the issues being discussed felt forced, the writing style began to feel a bit stale (for lack of a better word), and I ended up feeling as though I was putting in a lot of work without getting a lot of satisfaction out of it. And after all this is still a hobby, this isn’t something I get paid for and thus am obligated to stick to a regular schedule. So for me to stay engaged I have to be happy and satisfied with what I’m writing – and that sadly wasn’t the case anymore.

But besides that, there was one main determining factor that led to the hiatus from blogging. To cut a long story short, my overall mental health was and still to this day isn’t great. And that’s down to numerous reasons; some personal, some academic, a lot of which were just out of my control. A seemingly endless list of reasons why I was feeling so down all the time which I won’t bore you all with and it was really taking a lot out of me. So I took a little break from YouTube, social media, blogging the whole shebang because I was coming out of a really bad and emotionally draining period of my life and whilst I love helping people and want to be there for my friends as much as I can, come the end of last summer especially and this month, I realised how badly I needed help and I didn’t really feel comfortable about sharing those low moments and that period of my life with you. Thus, for my own sake, I took a hiatus of undetermined length.

Over the past few months, I’ve been considering what to do with the blog. Whether to take it in a creatively interesting new direction or whether to abandon it entirely.

When I first created it over a year ago now, I remember initially wanting it to be a place where people could go to for help if you needed it but also (and this may sound really selfish but bear with me) somewhere I could go to help me gain more confidence and to give myself that drive to put all these self-care techniques to good use. I soon came to realise that I had fallen into a rut of not practising what I preach… which isn’t the best really is it? And at the time, I hated it. I hated feeling so disingenuous with every single post so I just had to stop. Because after all, if my heart isn’t in it than why should anyone else’s be.

Therefore, I want to start taking my blog in a creatively interesting new direction. What that direction is exactly, I can’t tell you. Now don’t get me wrong, I’d love to have a well thought out plan in place, especially with the second year of Uni fast approaching. But at the moment, I think I just need to go with the flow. For now, I’m just going to post basically whenever I feel like it and whenever I feel like it’s helpful. So overall, content should be a little better thought out, a little more coherent and not rushed out for the sake of reaching a deadline.

So you still get to see my journey, but whenever I feel ready.

And yeah I may sound a bit selfish and self-absorbed saying that. But what I’ve come to realise recently is that you should be your number one priority. What you’re doing should be as beneficial for you as it is for other people. Helping people is great and I’ll admit writing to please others was a huge part of my initial project for July, but you should be your priority and do things that make you happy. I’m still getting there myself, but as I’m writing this now, I’m starting to feel more and more comfortable in my own skin and going back to sharing things with you all. With the new year academic year approaching and becoming more actively involved in a few societies, I have a few projects lined up for this blog that should be on their way very soon. But again, this will be whenever I feel ready.

So for now, I’m going to say see you soon!

It feels good to be back, but from now on, I’m doing this for me. Time to get out of that rut!

- Katie x

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